^ That is a work title.
This was written last year some time by myself, with insight provided by my friends one of which being my internet spouse.
It's predicated around two insanely unstable people and has further been built upon but this was the first instance, a short story.
ENJOY
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Once upon a time, there did live a peculiar group of people. They were each represented by a certain degree of personal quirk, and it should not shock anyone that they live in a castle on Paranoia Hill. A humble and remote place of worship, where a just and great king, King Worry presides over all the land ruling over what some may call a diverse kingdom.
At his right hand his young heir, Prince Frantic sits ever vigilant for one day he will take his seat at the helm and make known his name. The kingdom has few dignitaries in the court, one of these dignitaries is Lady Paps. She being a peculiar figure herself, one who suffers from severe amnesia and brain lapsing.
On this blissful afternoon, King Worry sits at his throne gently sipping from a goblet while enjoying the royal crosswords of the day in the local news letter. The peaceful silence is only momentarily broken as a bird flies shallow over the hall, or past a window. While causing King Worry to jostle suddenly it soon passes and all is well in his presence....~
“KING! KING!” Young Frantic exclaims as he bursts into the royal throne room causing quite the commotion, and in turn King Worry throws his royal beverage at the young ward. The goblet however is too heavy and lands shattering a few feet from the Prince,
“AHH!!”
King Worry sheaths the royal handgun back in his ankle holster before the Prince can make note of it, and shakes off those thoughts that withdrew it,
“what is it young Frantic?” King Worry asks in a royal tone with a royal beckoning, drawing the young man
further into the desired range.
“Lady Paps, your Highness.” Frantic begins to explain as he takes quick looks around the room, not wanting the masses to hear his words. He beckons the King's ear closer, to which Worry places a hand down near his ankle clasping the grip of the royal gun through his lower attire.
“Her birthday sir, she is turning of age.” Frantic whispers causing a sudden chill to rush through the King and making him ever so lightly grip the trigger.
BANG!
The gun fires through the ankle holster causing Worry to scream out in a shrill tone as if he is fainting from a fatal blow,
“THE KING HAS BEEN SHOT!” Prince Frantic screams as he draws the royal taser from his royal belt. Frantic turns it on the only other person in the room, the royal janitor.
“What treachery is this?!” He demands and lunges at the poor man, shocking him repeatedly until he was left to convulse on the floor soiling himself in the process.
“Once again you have saved the King's life, young Heir.” King Worry whispers delicately from behind the prince,
“had Phil carried out his dastardly deed, who knows what state this kingdom would be in.” King Worry proclaimed as he slowly walks back to his throne his arms clasped behind his back as he ponders what will happen next.
“A reward is in order, you may help yourself to the Royal pantry!”
“A hundred gratitude's my Liege, however there is still the matter of Lady Paps.” Prince Frantic reminds the king of why he originally had summoned himself.
“Why yes, I do believe I know of just the place where we may find her a gift of incredible worth!” the King exclaims raising his hand with a single index finger extended, “you do?” Frantic seems ever enthralled with the King's ability to think so rationally after having nearly been assassinated. “Ready the royal escort, we make haste to the Inner-City!”
While the kingdom that the royal court of Paranoia Hill is vast and enormous, the royal party always seem to find what they want lies within the Inner-City portion of the kingdom. The Inner-City closes resembles that of an urban suburbia alike Detroit, L.A., or downtown New Jersey with all the gang influence of Japan and other foreign criminal super powers.
The royal escort (a brightly colored yellow automobile) arrived deep within the Inner-City around four O'clock in the afternoon. The brightly colored graffiti mocked the chalky and mute tones that the sky scrapers and complexes seemed to exhibit. King Worry stepped out of the royal escort and adjusted his royal attire as he waited for Frantic to slowly peek outside and join him standing on a rough looking cement laden side walk.
“Now then, we must consult the royal party planner! One, Tanequia Jones of Party-Zone co.” King Worry explains to young Frantic who seems to be ever slowly adjusting to the bustling pace of the inner city life, his hand on the royal taser, ever ready.
They would walk for what seemed like a long time, however the sun would remain persistent as if late noon for an eternity was cursed upon this wretched place. King Worry suddenly stops however in mid step, causing Frantic to become alerted,
“why have we stopped!? Is something amiss!?” he questions in a perplexed manner.
“It would appear our intended “Party-Zone co.” has become something else, something called “Royal-Escort inc.”
“What treachery, whole and rotten,” Frantic readies his royal armament but is halted by his King.
“This is splendid news! Come now, we must search out miss Tanequia before we have overstayed our visit.”
They walk into the small store like atmosphere and are greeted with loud urban dance music and wall to wall black and gold colors, posters of women and men, and of cars and jewelery in glass cases. Standing behind one of the glass cases is a young woman who does not look like the royal party planner Tanequia. A woman much more plain, much more blonde and wearing what would be an otherwise boring dress suit combo.
“May I help you?” she asks in a very customer friendly way,
“why yes you may very well be able to! We are searching for the one they call Tanequia, a party planner of the King's court.”
“I'm not certain we have any girls with that name, we are a professional organization with three branches across the country. Our girls and men are well bred, well mannered, and above all professional. As you may know by now, money talks in this day and age, so if you want something it'll have a price attached. A man of your obvious wealth I'm sure has no need for this talk, but it is customary that I let you know our employees will go to great lengths to make your evening or event memorable.”
“This is indeed great news! I trust that your group also handles birthday parties?” King Worry asks as he browses the glass encasement with jewelery and assorted accessories.
“Birthday parties, graduations, promotions, bachelor parties. In fact, we have a special building we reserve for VIP's if you are interested in arranging something bigger for your needs?”
“It sounds marvelous indeed! If you could have it arranged for later tonight I and my court would be most pleased!”
“Very well, a limo will be sent to pick you up around ten o'clock tonight.”
“Ti's beautiful to have you assist us in making this night special for our dignitaries.” King Worry and Prince Frantic shake the young woman's hand,
“Who is the birthday party for?” she asks inquisitively.
“A court dignitary.” to which she begins to write down notes in a small flip open coiled notebook.
“Now we must make leave to prepare for this evenings festivities, come young Frantic!” King Worry grabs the young Prince's arm and leads him outside while the young blond woman begins to plan out the evening. When suddenly she hears a shriek like someone fainting, a gun shot, and a blood curdling scream, shortly after with police sirens in the distance. Thinking nothing of this she continues to arrange the scenario for the birthday party.
A few hours later back at Paranoia hill after an eventful exit from the Inner-City...~
King Worry and Prince frantic arrange for a royal birthday card to be made in Lady Paps honor, but no one can be certain of her real age.
“What foolhardy nonsense is it, for a King to fret such a nonsensical things?!” Worry demands as he and Frantic have been sitting in the throne room for a good forty minutes trying to decide what to put on the card.
“Why what if we ask her, your Highness?” Frantic deliberates while King Worry looks somewhat intrigued by his idea. “You mean, ask her ourselves?” he speaks with a coy smile,
“Yes, sire!”
The King leans back in his seat, smiling and laughing like a loon, almost maniacal in a way,
“how delightfully devilish, but such a plan must be handled with great care... Young Frantic, summon Lady Paps at once!” King Worry instructs with a simple hand gesture to which Prince Frantic acknowledges and immediately darts off through the main doors screaming
“HEY! HEY!” repeatedly.
Yes, a plan that must be handled with great, care, hmm....
A few moments later Lady Paps is rushed in looking distressed by Frantic with the royal taser in hand,
“What's the matter, were you followed!?” the King demands answers from his subordinates while Frantic bars the doors closed.
“I'm not sure, I heard footsteps!”
“We must be careful, an attempt on my life was made earlier this day!” the King bellowed to which Frantic immediately leaped upon Phil's still inanimate body grasping it by the collar of his one piece work attire,
“WHAT KNAVARY IS THIS!?”Frantic screams as he shakes Phil's lifeless body.
Lady Paps looks wholly shocked and a bit taken back by the news that Phil would try such a thing, and it was then that the King turned the attention to more pressing matters.
“M'lady, you have been summoned before this court to be posed with a hypothetical question, one which merits no real consequence or reality.” the King goes on instructing her, to which Lady Paps simply replies,
“Kay.”
“If you were to have a hypothetical dignitary, who had hypothetically been born of a woman a time ago that was coming upon an anniversary of sorts, what MIGHT you write on piece of paper that may OR may not have a cat on the front proclaiming its hatred of Mondays?” King Worry finishes while Lady Paps look unfettered and not bothered,
“umm, uhhh....” she pauses for an indefinite amount of time not fully understanding what he is asking of her.
“You ninny, I'm wanting to know how old you are!” Worry scolds her with a small twitch on the right side of his face.
“Umm, uhhh....”
“F*&%!” King Worry exclaims and grabs for the closest writing utensil available, a red ink, two dollar pen. With which he uses to inscribe the card expressing his profound hostility and outright anger towards the whole misadventure that today has been. He throws the pen into the royal fire place which causes ink to explode out of the pen with fire attached and small flares begin to sprout around the range of the area.
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY, M'LADY.” King Worry sarcastically scolds her as he presents her the card and walks off out the main the doors, leaving Lady Paps standing with a smile on her face and Prince Frantic with the royal fire extinguisher to put out the ruptured ink blazes.
Hours would pass by in the royal throne room, and eventually the janitor Phil came to. He slowly gained his wits about him, his soiled pants have now become merely a damp, smelly silhouette on his attire. The royal clock was striking ten, and Phil was left to gather himself and try to recall what had happened. As he stumbled around the royal halls he came across Lady Paps and as she saw him she smiled and handed him the card,
“Happy Birthday!” before Phil could muster a response she had already disappeared into the darker reaches of the castle.
Phil got cleaned up as best he could before he gathered his things to go home, still holding the card in some perplexed understanding he opened the royal front doors to which he was greeted by a large cavalcade of exotic looking women and men all in expensive looking clothing, or lack there of in some cases.
“Hey there,” one of the ladies said as she suddenly eyed the card in his hand, “Birthday boy~”
to which Phil did little else but smile, at that point and for most of the night.
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Well there you have it, the first concepts of Prince Frantic and King Worry of Paranoia Hill.
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